


OkCupid Spares The Wall

by NoirRosaleen



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Originally Posted on LiveJournal, Purity Test, Sherlock's Past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-29
Updated: 2013-04-29
Packaged: 2017-12-09 21:47:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/778338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoirRosaleen/pseuds/NoirRosaleen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock takes a purity test. Hilarity ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	OkCupid Spares The Wall

"Sherlock, are you taking a purity test?"

"Bored, John."

“…mind if I watch?”

“Mmmph.”

“I’ll take that as a no.”

…..

“Sherlock, when did you pose nude..?”

“There was a case at an art school concerning one of the students, I was fairly sure he was involved with his teacher and it was the best way to be in the same room with them both for an extended period of time.”

“Did you happen to save any of the sketches?”

…..

“While I’m not surprised you were bored reading porn, might I ask..?”

“The Story Of O. Woman was a complete idiot, worse than Donovan.”

“Oh.”

…..

“I hope that doesn’t refer to me…”

“No, John, that was when Anderson first arrived on the scene. Honestly I didn’t care that he was staring, I didn’t intend to die of hypothermia because he wouldn’t turn his back while I was changing.”

“This explains why he hates you…”

“I suppose, but did he really think I’d go for him?”

“You are truly cruel.”

…..

“You seriously slept through some poor woman mounting you.”

“I told you, John, girlfriends not really my area.”

…..

“You participated in Rocky Horror?”

“Their Frank-n-Furter was terrified of a stalker, and the show had to go on if I was to catch him!”

“Please tell me there are pictures.”

“You have this obsession with pictures…”

“Sherlock, have you ever heard the phrase, ‘Pics or it didn’t happen?’”

“I assume it’s something you were introduced to in Afghanistan.”

…..

“You have TASTED. An EYEBALL.”

“It was for science, John!”

“…I’m not even going to ask.”

…..

“Sherlock, I’m fairly certain that they mean ‘escaped through a window because someone came home unexpectedly’ in the sense that you were having sex with their partner, not because you were looking for evidence.”

“Then they ought to be clearer in their sentence structure!”

…..

“EATEN A LAB DISSECTION?!”

“Well, I say lab dissection…”

“Please tell me you’re bending the truth.”

“I was doing an experiment in bullet penetration on a pig’s leg and didn’t feel like wasting it, all right?”

“…I’m not certain that’s much better, but I think I can keep my lunch down, thanks.”

…..

“Bound in chains. Seriously.”

“I took a case at a castle and had a bad turn. Fortunately the authorities arrived fairly quickly…”

…..

“John, please stop looking at me like that, you found out the day you met me I had a bit of a sordid past!”

“Oh, Sherlock.”

“I’m clean, John. Honestly. I’m fine, I’m not scarred for life, and it’s out of my system, I promise.”

“I’ll keep that in mind in case you ever have a flashback.”

…..

“That…is quite a low score.”

“Is it?”

“Yee-es, Sherlock, it is.”

“…want to make it lower?”

“Oh god yes.”


End file.
